Musings on the middle

Well,the Peanut is away for a few days enjoying her last Spud free holiday with her Grandma,and so I have a little more time to think. So naturally,the first thing I do is go 'wohoo! TV remote now mine!' and jump on it... :) I found a show the other night on DMAX called 'Radical Parenting' which included unschoolers,co sleepers,extended breast feeders etc. Now, I reckon everyone has the right to do what they believe is best for their kids,except in situations where they believe harming or abusing their child is 'right' or acceptable. I stand by that having watched the whole programme,fair play to them for doing what they believe is right. Me, I sit firmly in the middle. Its boring here,but safe and comfortable,and there is scope for movement. Best of all,I dont feel like I am getting sucked into doing something I am not comfortable doing for me and my family. Sure,we homeschool. Some people I know would consider that fairly 'radical'. We plan to cloth diaper Spud when he makes an appearance, I guess some people would find that radical. However,both of these decisions have come in response to the needs of my kids. Peanut needed education,the LA had nothing except an unsuitable school far to far away with no help with travel costs. So we started homeschooling. We found it fitted in better with our day to day lives,Peanut had time to take her medication every day,the fairly frequent doctors visits did not have to be explained and triple checked by the school,and should we want to go away at a time NOT involving school holidays-when retail is often busiest and therefore time off hard to come by- we can. In the same vein, cloth diapering the new one. Its substantially cheaper,even when factoring in the extra laundry,and as a family on a tight budget,that is not something to be sneezed at. Peanut had the most HORRIFIC nappy rash pretty much from when she was born. She has very sensitive skin,I do,and Spuds father also does. Odds are so will Spud. The only thing that improved Peanuts rash was cloth diapers. (tho back in the day they were waaaay old school and not as easy as now) Given that,it would seem likely that at some point Spud will suffer the same skin,and if I can minimise that pain by putting him straight into cloth,well why not?! Both decisions make sense for us,and that is why many of the people on the show also made their decisions. For that reason I am not about to haul them up against my own standards and call them weird. One thing with all this newfound 'radicalism' though, is that in some cases it becomes almost like a cult. People who are looking for something find this niche where they can do something outside the norm and they go 'hey,look at me,Im radical, Im part of a radical community.' Their identity in a sense becomes tied up in what they are doing rather than who they are. For them,it is about showing how different they are,how they make their own rules and are free from what less enlightened members of society are forced into. Their way becomes the only way,and anyone else just does not understand. They have found,in a sense a new religion and boy are they preaching. (or just smugly occupying the moral high ground-something we have all been guilty of at some point ;) ) Woe betide anyone who does not want to or cannot breastfeed,they are evil for denying their child such precious natural food...woe betide she who uses disposible nappies,she will end up living on a landfill in a godforsaken world...forcing children to attend school is as cruel as keeping them in cages,and educating them to fit any kind of society is pure social engineering etc... This occurs not just in parenting though,food is also something of a minefield. Ever been the only vegetarian in a room full of vegans? Ouch. I have. Its an intense experience. Someone takes up veganism,fine,eat what makes you feel good,what will keep you healthy. There are many benefits to the vegan lifestyle. However,to the vegangelicals, the few,the hardcore, there is ONLY veganism,and everything else is just downright wrong and must be fought against because ONLY by not consuming any animal products can we save the world... ahem...yeah. My point is there needs to be BALANCE. Too much of anything is not good,and too far to any extreme becomes an exercise in pushing that extreme for the sake of it. We are all naturally curious about how other people live,and who hasnt ever read the blog of someone who is a radical unschooling,vegan,barefoot only extended breastfeeder and gone 'actually,she looks really happy,and so do the kids,and oh gee,maybe if I could just push the boundaries a little I too could live like her and be more fulfilled'...etc? Thing is,what makes her kids happy could make yours miserable,and while it is good to have passions and ideals,forcing your kids to fit into them to prove how much you belong,and to validate how radical and happy you are you may just wind up with confused kids. Im sure many of the children are perfectly happy with their lives,and fair play,but sometimes I look at the parents,and think maybe this is more about them than the kids. Maybe this is about their need to find something,to belong to something, that is driving them.There is also a certain amount of one upmanship in these groups,and sometimes its a game of who can be the most radical and who can most exemplify this radical dream.We have all seen these blogs with their beautiful pictures and 'gentle philosophy' of what is best what their family are doing to make them happy,and have bought into it enough to think maybe if we could do it,we could be as happy as the glossy photos seem to suggest. I just dont know if chasing someone elses happiness and trying to make it your own is a good idea...Maybe taking what you think you and your family can best use from these organisations and then going your own way for the rest is just as radical if not more so than following a radical organisation? After all,they were only radical when the first one started to beat their own path really,now they are more about collecting followers than being truly original themselves. This is what happens when I am left with free time....fear not,the Peanut will soon return and the baby brain fog will soon redescend Im sure...

maths,moving and....... motherhood x2?!

Well, I apologise for my lack of communication on here recently,but we seem to have undergone a few fairly drastic changes... Firstly,we are now homeowners. Yup, thats homeOWNERS. No more renting,throwing large amounts of money at a landlord so he can go on ignoring the fact that we are flushing the toilet only by pouring pints of water down it from a jug,there is mould EVERYWHERE that will no die despite vinegar tea tree oil and leaving windows open ALL the time etc etc. Nope,from now on if its broke,WE fix it. I have to say at this point I am totally in love with our new house. It is quieter (hard to be noisier than the last one really..) safer,more beautiful,cleaner,in better repair,more spacious and there have been a noteable lack of drunks sleeping in the front garden.All this and more...such bliss :) This is truly a home. The Peanut has settled in happily,has gleefully taken possession of the largest bedroom,and now has space for a desk,storage etc and STILL have room to move around it. There is a mini breakfast bar in the kitchen,which she has also happily claimed as her own,and even the dreaded maths is not such a chore while sat on her favourite swivel buckety seat thing. Home ed is pretty much back up and running,the first few days after the move were a little difficult,as many books etc had magically vanished into many seperate boxes,despite my careful attempts at order...we were also without the internet until yesterday,so had to make do without our beloved jediteacher2007. That said,we still managed an hour of maths a day,and the Peanut brain has taken an interest in philosophy and is currently reading Sophies World. Science etc will resume next week. I did have a series of activities carefully prepped on a cdrom,but for some reason when said cd was inserted into 'puter it made a noise which can only be described as painful and mechanical and promptly shut down,refusing to spit the disc out. Ah,the joys of technology... In other news,well,there is only one item of news...it would seem that after 13 years raising the Peanut as an only,we are about to welcome another member of the household... He/Shes name is currently Spud owing to my overpowering urge to eat potato with EVERYTHING and salad cream. As I write this,he is trying to rearrange my ribs,although he doesnt seem to have picked up on the Peanut trick of jumping on my bladder every two hours from three months gestation right through to birth...for this I am thankful in the extreme,as I clearly remember one night I gave in and dragged my duvet into the bathroom so I could sleep on the damn toilet! Peanut is convinced that Spud is a boy,which is irking her slightly as she really wants a sister- 50/50 chance I guess...Im not certain yet,I do keep finding myself saying 'he' rather than 'she' and Spud is certainly higher and out in front more than Peanut was,but each bebe is different,so maybe Spud is just keeping me guessing. I really dont mind,and neither does the very proud father.Healthy and in one piece is all we ask :) Anyway,at 4 months now,finally over the puking stage-which was not as bad as I remember in terms of actual throwing up,but did make me feel queazy all day,and had the added advantage of every time I coughed having to stand still and deep breathe in order to avoid said vomit. Work is pretty knackering-three flights of stairs up and down,standing up or running around all day and having to deal with bad tempered people and general jerks and its a recipe for tiredness. Add to this the general stresses and strains of moving,and I am BEAT. I havent taken a holiday yet this year,but the majority of it is booked already. I would have booked too,but not knowing up until a few days before you move that you ARE moving,and everything else gets kind of put on hold...Ah well,if worst comes to worst I shall tack my holiday onto my maternity and try and get through the next few months. Its strange to be starting from the beginning again. I have watched all my close friends have children in the last few years,and I remebre through them what the early years were like. It seems so long ago. Of course,in 13 years not much has changed on that front,except the NHS advice on what you can safely eat in pregnancy-with the Peanut,ironically peanut butter was the work of satan,and almost guaranteed your babe would be born with a nut allergy. Fast forward 13 years,and now its great stuff. Oh boy. Use a little common sense I say, dont eat raw meat,eggs or fish, dont go cleaning out the cat litter without gloves etc and dont read the bloody literature they give you or you will remain indoors for 9 months,paranoid and existing on prenatals,rice cakes and bottled water. Either way,it all feels both new and familliar at once. Second babies are indeed much different to the first,and one thing that does concern me slightly is size. Now,Peanut booked in at 7 and a half pounds and came from first contaction to wow,its a baby, in 6 hours. The combination of speed and size virtually guarantees stitches afterwards. Fast forward. Spud has already had his first scan -thats something new,Peanut got one scan,at 16 weeks, Spud gets another one at 20 weeks and his first was at 13- and compared to Peanut,who was 3 weeks bigger at her scan,he is MUCH larger. Add to that proud father is 6 ft 5,and was well over 10 pounds at birth and the fact that second babies are larger and supposedly quicker,and thats going to be like a freight train!!! Ouch. I forsee a good deal more stitches...bugger. So, all in all an eventful few months since we last updated. The home ed,contrary to what most people assume, will continue. Picture it from Peanuts point of view, 'Right,you are getting a half sibling,so we will have no time for you,get your butt to school and undo everything we have achieved NOW!' Peanut does not need any more complexes.The average teenage angst is enough. As we proved with the moving etc it is far better to have the kiddo adjust to change at home when they are part of it,that when they are thrown out every day and have to deal with it when they get home. She is coming on in great independant strides,and I would never take that away from her. Right,thats me done for now, I have to go and prep more work for Peanut to do in the weeks leading up to the arrival of spud and in the sleep deprived days and weeks after...better to do it now before baby brain kicks in entirely...

pus filled ears and preteen pondering

Well,its all been rather quiet on the educational front right now,but it hit me this morning whilst I was scraping pus out of my daughters ear with a cotton bud that she will be a genuine teenager this time tomorrow.Its a strange feeling. All the years of worrying,nursing,feeding and attempting to nurture the Peanut and now she actually doesnt need me to do the majority of this stuff for her. Of course,scraping pus from infected ear skin and tending it with tcp is just too much fun not to share with ones mother,but there is now a mini adult where there was once a small child. Disconcerting,wonderful,terrifying and just plain weird though the thought is. In another 6 years,she could be off to Uni,all ready to take her place in the world,wherever that may be. Six years is gonna go pretty damn fast if the last 13 are anything to go by! Everywhere I look,my friends are bonding with new babies,beginning the whole process with all the usual doubts and fears,and here I am,somewhat battlescarred veteran of the Mum lifestyle,now contemplating surrender-or at the very least withdrawing the troups and handing over to self government. Its scary to think that after everything,in a few short years I will be putting everything I have tried to instill in Peanut to the test and letting her fly. Of course,you always know that the change is coming,indeed sometimes on the 3am feed-and-colic-and-no-help-in -sight dark moments we have probably all wished for the moment to come sooner,but now its suddenly drawing closer it is strange. I hope I can do the Peanut justice throughout the raging hormone fest of the next few years,and teach her what she needs to know to be a happy well adjusted individual who can go on to do what she wants in life. I am still standing by our choice to homeschool,it has opened our eyes to a lot we would otherwise has missed,and put fun into what could have been a traumatic experience.I like to think the Peanut will look back fondly on our attempts to home ed,or at least not be looking back on it from a therapists couch! Anyhow,the ear is oozing,and as riveting as Im sure all this maudlin mum crap is,duty calls.For a few more years at least its back to the trenches and the frontline :)

manga universe,maths tests and music

Woops...time has been flying once again and I am being dragged behind its coattails screaming...and after that strange introduction,welcome to some more insights into the Peanuts schooling. Firstly,we are back to recapping fractions in the form of the 10 minute test book. Peanut pouts,sulks and grumbles her way through a test every day before being allowed to go do something more interesting.Grumble she may,but she can do the tests a hell of a lot faster than she could and it is a quick and relatively painless way to recap a subject. We went from 'But I cant remember ANYTHING and I hate fractions mumble mumble...' to 'Done it,checked it,got them all right,now can I PLEASE go?!' At which point she stomps off to read the Manga guide to the Universe .(ISBN:978-1-59327-267-8) We have several of the Manga guide to... series. There is one for molecular biology,one for physics,another with a guide to the planets and the universe and so on. They are basically science textbooks interspersed with manga style comic strips which explain the salient points and also tell a side story of their own. The Peanut,needless to say,is a HUGE fan and as such we are hoping to complete the set.Granted,it is pitched a few years above the Peanut in some cases,but its scary what has already been digested,and if she doesnt understand the rest yet,she probably will at some point. Its the educational equivalent of buying the clothes 2 sizes too big with the thought that 'you'll grow into it'. We are still somewhere in between the universe and Darwin in science,alternating as the Peanut brain prefers. In english,we are still looking at Of Mice and Men,but I have an eye on 'I know why the caged bird sings' by Maya Angelou so Im sure we will get a start on that as soon as I can track down a copy. We made flapjacks yesterday at the Peanuts request,and judging from the vast spew of craft books on the floor I believe a creative project of some kind may well be in the offing. In other news,it was so good to get outside again. Feels like we have been cooped up forever lately,high time to get some exercise! Cant wait for planting season to begin,and we can go back to our herbalism course full tilt. Beyond that, it has been fairly quiet round these parts. We are starting the process of buying a house and also looking into a return trip to Canada,two things which are both wonderful and terrifying depending on whether you are looking at the end result or the bank balance... O and I have also got stupidly addicted to the tv show 'Friday Night Lights'. As it centres around american high school football,I am blaming him entirely for this...Only two seasons are available here in the uk,of the 5 that were made.Really hoping that season 2 doesnt end on a cliffhanger-who am I kidding?! Of course it will-and that somehow we can find out how it all ends.

Icy Imbolc and planetary polystyrene...

Well,there went January... seems it vanished in a haze of Darwin and coolmaths,something the peanut has taken to gleefully. As far as inspection went,seems a bit of an anticlimax,didnt need a single gun and we are signed,certified for another year. We bludgeoned the inspector with Peanuts current reading list,blinded her with science games and proceeded to lecture her on the wonders of modern history. Once it was obvious she was not some shrinking,pale and trembling child but socially well adjusted and by all definitions,NOT abused,neglected or unloved and mentally understimulated we were pretty much there.In fact,the inspector was taking notes and exclaiming that she could use things we were doing with other children and it wasnt so much a lesson for us as a lesson by us...
Peanut is currently reading 'The voyage of the Beagle' and numerous astronomy texts. We are still looking at Darwin,and are planning on watching 'Creation' at some point,however a sudden urge of the Peanut brain to learn about astronomy and the solar system,brought about by a chance encounter with the CGP physics curriculum,means we are temporarily hurtling off on a tangent. This tangent has involved making and painting planets made of polystyrene balls and making then playing with top trumps planet cards. Incidentally,please,no more Uranus jokes. A house full of oversized children have run that joke reeeeaaallly thin...
We have started GCSE maths now,but are only doing proper lessons twice a week,slightly longer than the previous ones. The rest of our maths hours are taken up with math and logic puzzle websites.
Now,we have,for a good few years totally ignored religious studies,beyond satisfying basic Peanut curiosity. However,she will be 13 soon,the age when traditionally a wiccan would start on the pagan path. This is something that greatly interests the Peanut,however I fear I would be a poor teacher,focussed as I am more on the nitty gritty basics of life than on the fripperies of which colour candle calls up which goddess when the moon is seven times in the fifth house or whatever. Im not sure if that makes me a sloppy pagan or if I am travelling a path entirely different,but I do believe we all find God,who or whatever that is in our own way,and we need to follow our own paths in that regard. Still,I have given her books,explanations,the run of my box of pagan stuff and left her to her own devices. Like handing matches and a flamethrower to a pyromaniac? Possibly,but what doesnt burn us to a small blackened crisp gives us a healthy respect for fire...
At this precise moment in time,the Peanut is playing with top trump cards while attempting to fart the theme tune to neighbours. Top trumps indeed. The attention span is somewhat limited at the moment and I am vastly grateful that the serious schooling is over for the day.

new year...new neurosis...

Well,December has vanished in a haze of sleep deprivation and stress,xmas day was lovely, the rest was work, work, work for us all.Only Peanut gets away with having the luxury of time off at xmas.Fortunately,its all about her anyway :)
Anyhow, Maths restarts with a recap of the essentials of KS3.I want her to be confident enough with fractions,trigonometry and algebra that she can do them without thinking about them. Thats the plan anyway.English,we have moved on to 'White Fang' as Peanuts passion for all things canadian and wolf related-yes,the Due South obsession continues... Speaking of Canada,still looking forward to returning this year. :) Science wise,we are starting physics this term...batteries ahoy! History continues with modern history,apparently much more interesting to the Peanut brain.
Well,on to the main subject. Two days ago a jolly little letter from the LEA plops onto the mat.Fair enough,time to send them a few samples of the Peanuts work and report on what we were doing last year. No problem. Oh no,now it seems we have a new 'elective home education advisory teacher' who has invited herself round to our house 'to offer advice and support'. Strange,we have been at this 2 years now,and the last coordinator was always perfectly happy with Peanuts work. I was so pissed when I read that letter,in fact, Im STILL pretty pissed off,as I understand this woman has no legal right to just come around without my permission,and yet here she is,setting herself an appointment and just assuming that she can waltz in and start poking around our home! Obviously,because I home educate my child will be found,white faced and trembling,locked in a cupboard while I sit on my butt and drink neat homebrew with my feet up...
The irony is,if we had received a letter from this woman introducing herself and asking if it were possible to visit at some point then I would have been okay with that.Its more the fact that she made an appointment to come as if she has every right! Is this how its going to be now? If I refuse this visit,will she just come back with some kind of official paper,or recommend Peanut sent straight back to school because its 'obviously best' ?! From what I saw of our temps this year,they were nice kids,but half of them couldnt spell-my favourite example was one who spelt 'Oasis' as 'Owasis' -and it WASNT a typo...most of them couldnt figure out basic stuff like 7.50 + 7.50=15 without a calculator and yet they all reckon they got good exam results...somethings not adding up..literally...kind of makes me wonder. Of course,everyone second guesses you when you home ed,because if they all had to go to school and 'learn to deal with it' then you should have to send your child there too. Just parr for the course I guess. Still,start the New Year and bring it on...

flying time and rising tide...

Yikes! Has it really been that long since I updated?! Time is indeed flying. We are still chugging along,and I am pleased to say KS3 maths is NO MORE! We finished the other day,lock stock and protractor...I could be really mean and insist on starting GCSE right away and plunge right in by going back over fractions then adding on from there the extra gcse bits,but its nearly xmas,and the Peanut has done so well and worked so hard I am inclined to be a soft touch and proclaim from now until xmas maths games and puzzles every day instead. English is flying along nicely,Peanut romped through animal farm and then dived headlong into 'Of Mice and Men' which she finished in about 3 hours.This leads nicely into GCSE modern history,so we are going into some detail about the 20s and 30s both here and in America. Science wise,chemistry will be concluded by the end of term,when we move on to physics and then on to GCSE. I have faithfully promised that we WILL be doing Darwin again next term as well. We are also going back to experimenting with our teaching methods. Having read much of the brilliant Grits Day blog,I became interested in the idea of looking at what I would normally teach over the course of the week,and then giving Peanut a list of assignments. She has Monday to ask for any help she may need understanding them,and working through any problems,and the rest of the week she is left to organise her own time as she sees fit. My only proviso is that by the end of the week the work is done and then checked by me on Friday. It is actually proving surprisingly effective,Peanut gets to organise her own time and study schedule,without the need for me sitting 'breathing down her neck' and I have more time for such luxuries as mopping 8 bathtowels and 2 buckets full of water from our kitchen floor where we appear to have something of a mains leak which has so far baffled 2 sets of plumbers...yay...