Happiness and home

Because the two of the above are always linked...Its Christmas eve,the peanut is asleep after tiring herself out at work with me for 5 hours,the boys are out in search of xmas spirit(s) and will fall in happy and totally wasted sometime in the next 3 hours.Right now,the house is peaceful,the altar is trimmed and freshly covered in green and red,there are presents everywhere-all carefully wrapped by me and waiting for the moment I can finally fill the stockings,and after the manic rush of xmas eve at work there is only a sense of peace and calm.This is my favourite moment of christmas.Everything is done,the house is calm and warm,Peanut is sleeping and I can enjoy the anticipation of tomorrow and watching everyone open their stockings. Thats what I want for xmas,the same thing I want every year,to have the boys forget work,just for one day and act like children again,to be happy and relaxed and playful. I want Peanut to open her stocking just like she always does,with excitement that makes me smile like a cheshire cat.I want what every mother wants,for the whole family-even those not with us on the day-to know that I am thinking of them and love them,and I hope that they all have a wonderful,fun,exciting christmas.I hope they all feel loved and warm and happy. And THAT is better than anything you can wrap ;) Happy holidays everyone xxx

goodwill and gunk

Well,the previous situation resolved itself ok...small luteal cyst,meh. Part of me is relieved,and part of me is sad. I know. He doesnt want kids,Im getting to old to go through that shit again,and Ive been trying (and mostly succeeding) to convince myself that I dont want another child,Im not broody and everything is cool. Unfortunately the large hormonal fallout from this last incident has thrown all my careful reasoning out of the window,and left me mourning the fact that Ill never really experience any of that again. I should be so grateful. I have the best little peanut ever,and Im so proud of her and how far we have come on her way.And yet...there is still that sneaky little wish that wont go away. Meh,maybe I just want to be a housewife. hehehe yeah,and an osteoarcheologist too...Oh,and the goodwill is for the xmas spirit-I cannot WAIT to watch the kids open their presents,and cant wait until that magical time when Im leaving work on xmas eve,ready to make christmas for the kids.That walk home is always a happy one. As for gunk? Well,its what we're all coughing up right now...yay colds. :( Least they be better by christmas..... :)